Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
