I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
