all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
