Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
