bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
