tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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