The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
