I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
