I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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