i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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