Fuck appropriateness.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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