Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
