I hate your face
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
