Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it's like iHOP with fire
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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