Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
