I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
