There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
