that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
