I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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