tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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