I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
