I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
