oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
false alarm. still invincible.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm too high and old for this...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
