Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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