Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
