I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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