I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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