I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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