I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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