he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
