small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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