I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
