What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
