So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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