I cockslap morals
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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