covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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