If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
