speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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