just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
