At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
