ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
