I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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