It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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