Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
