Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
