Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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