Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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