One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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