only if we run a train.
done.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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