there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
