no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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