: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
