Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Even my vagina gasped.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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