It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
