I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
