it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
