Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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